I canceled all my dating website subscriptions. Checking them on a regular basis only wasted my time. The quality of candidates went downhill since I joined the first dating website back in 20–*cough cough*. So now I’m doing the opposite. I’m embracing spinsterhood. I do things like watch The View, contemplate purchasing a purse from a tv commercial that has over 50 pockets, and I’m already using public transportation. All I need is a muumuu, some ill-fitting pantyhose and 16 more cats and I will be an old maid.