Eating Contests 101

I was in a mini-burger eating contest on Monday.  I thought that since the grand prize money was $500 and I had nothing to loose.  Besides, even if I didn’t win, I still get a free lunch!  Of course I was the only woman in the contest.  I was nervous and hungry.  I ate nine burgers and felt like ass.  There were 2 other guys who managed to scarf down eight burgers.  I was happy I beat someone.  The winner ate 14 burgers and proceeded to throw up in the bathroom before accepting the award.  Instead of throwing up, I drank a few beers after the contest.  Let’s face it, that was a free lunch as far as I’m concerned.