What planet are you from?
I just love watching the tourists in Miami Beach. There’s a little old thing called a tropical storm near us. The winds gust hard, it is raining like the second coming of Christ, yet these idiots are running around with white linen pants or white pencil skirts and flip flops. Did you not watch the news? Did you see the clouds? They watch me in awe as I stroll by with my hurricane proof umbrella. When I travel, I write down the forecast for every day I am there. Before I go out, I check the local weather or, I don’t know, peek outside and bring a jacket for just in case. Happy Halloween, suckers!

