shenae.com

I really love the jokes that people email me.  That is why I have added the funny page to my site.  Speaking of funny, Jeff sent me this.  I am still laughing.

Wow, today is Thursday and I haven’t updated since Monday.  I have actually been busy working and contemplating my existence.  Lucky for you I have posted new pics.

Oh you know what time it is. It is time for the MTV Video Music Awards. I can’t wait. I want to talk about all the bad outfits and see who will slip and curse. That is the funniest part. Call me silly, but I love the performances too. I am not looking forward to N’SYNC singing, that is for damn sure. Just an FYI, I archived my woidz of wizdom. This page was getting to be too long because I talk too much!

The Happy Hour Party was great on Friday, but mostly because Jeff (aka Mr. UPS) was there. On Saturday, we headed to Asahi Sushi and it was awesome. Lisa was there and it was cool just to hang and eat.  I stuffed myself with all kinds of rolls, gyoza, and tempura.  Then we went to 723 to burn it off.  It was cool. I got the Weider gym on Sunday and I must say, it is a big mofo.  I had to move the spare twin bed to the other side of the room, move the desk where the bed was, and set up the gym literally in the middle of the room. Soon I will be looking all buffed…

I am heading to yet another Happy Hour Party. However did I become so popular?  It must be all the free parties that I have been throwing. On Saturday I am going to Asahi Sushi to stuff my face with the good stuff. Lisa will be there with her man Brandon.  Then I am heading to 723 to hang with my girl Robin and her man Eric for their one year anniversary. It shall be cool.  This woman at work posted a free Wieder weight press on the general email bulletin board.  I called, and she is actually going to deliver it to my house in exchange for a $25 Blockbuster gift certificate.  What a deal!

My sister is here from Texas.  Happy happy joy joy.  I pitched the Steak Tour idea to mom, and I think we will be heading to Morton’s on Friday. I will keep you posted and describe the beef.  Thanks to all my buddies who signed my guestbook.

I finally saw the X-Men movie at the dollar movie theatre. It was great. I think I may go as Mystique for Halloween.  That would be cool.  On Sunday, Mr. UPS and I ventured to the MD Wine Festival.  It was great because we stopped at Fresh Fields and loaded up on hummus, pitas, figs, strawberries and stinky cheese.  You get a free wine glass and coupons for 10 free samples, so I was slap happy around 4 pm.  I was a good little girl, and only purchased 2 bottles of wine.  I will definitely go back next year.

Be afraid, be very afraid.  I have been to purgatory and back. No it wasn’t the flu, it was worse, it was a stomach virus! *gasps* Oh the horror, the horror, the calamity! Not only did I feel like Linda Blair from “The Exorcist” movie for 2 days, I developed a fever too.  I did manage to spread the sickness to a co-worker and the big boss.  Sucks to be me.  Luckily, there was someone (aka Mr. UPS) to bring me chicken soup, juice, Tylenol and flowers to make me feel better!  My weekend was great.  I headed to Peter’s in Fell’s Point for some seriously good grub and beer. Then we ventured to 723 for the 25 cent beers and to meet with my friend Heather and her husband. On Saturday, I infiltrated a dog walker’s party.  I have no dogs, but my cats think they are puppies, so I blended in.  I drank some spunk beer, but after I ate some food and drank the good stuff (aka Jack Daniels), I was feeling fine.  On Sunday, I watched the Emmys and cheered for my girl Sela Ward and my show the Sopranos.  I stuffed myself with chinese food and painted the toenails.  It was a good night.

I hope everyone’s weekend was as good as mine.  On Saturday, I loaded up on Bacardi and Sprite to wash down the hot wings, spinach dip, egg rolls, potato salad, barbecued beef and sushi at my friend Margie’s house warming party. Of course with the braces, I look like one of the Muppets when I eat. Then again, I was wearing my Lo-Fidelity All Stars baby t-shirt. I get three words when I wear that shirt: tig old bitties! On Sunday, my mom and I ventured to Pennsylvania to see her best friend.  I stuffed myself with beef patties, italian sausage, hot dogs, chips, veggie chili, cake and ice cream.  The kids performed their own mini Olympics, which was so cute.  They scored points, had judges, and then gave out medals.  And the grown-ups sang the Olympic theme for them. It was funny.  I finally got to hold Valerie’s baby, Jasmine, the tallest baby I have ever seen! She was so cute and so good.  She didn’t cry at all. I got my fix of Jerry Springer, Oprah and Ricki Lake on Monday after doing some cleaning.

Yes I got my braces yesterday and it is official: I look like an 18 year old.  Everyone is asking me if I am in pain. I am actually not in pain.  I have been taking 200 mg of Motrin IB every 4 to 6 hours.  I have been stuffing myself with popcorn, candy and crunchy peanut butter for the last 2 months.  I think I can survive 6 months of this. The only problem is, I might have to bring 2 forms of ID if I go to a bar.  I was going to spend some time this weekend working on my screenplay and cleaning my house, but I have been coerced into attending a shin dig at my Aunt Terry’s house in PA.  Margie is having a housewarming party on Saturday, and I have to go.  Did somebody say beer? Did someone say Shenae?