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my new purse obsession, courtesy of dailymail.co.uk

Listen, I’ve never been one of those girls who squeal at the sight of some wonderful outfit or fabulous shoes.  I’ve been broke most of my life and it’s true that if I die before 3pm tomorrow, I’ll have all the money I need. And I am the last person to give anyone fashion advice.  I live in jeans, t-shirts, and flats. But lately, things have changed, and I obsess over purses, and sometimes shoes.  I have the most beautiful Chloe Paddington purse, one Coach purse, and one Marc Jacobs purse.  I already posted info on the coveted Hermes bag, but now this Loewe ‘Calle’ that Posh glided through the airport with just blew me away. It could be dressed down with jeans or glammed up with a hot pencil skirt. Okay, I cannot believe those words just came out of my head.

Jesus H Christ.  The amount of bling on this purse is blinding, and yet, I can’t stop gawking at it.  So my future ex-husband, David Beckham, bought this purse as a Christmas present for his present wife, Victoria Beckham.  My goodness, this man knows how to shop for a woman.  And he’s not stingy. That glorious purse is worth over $150K.  Yes, it costs the equivalent of my student loan debt.  That lucky bitch.

courtesy Dailymail.co.uk and Splash

There goes my future baby daddy with his current wife, Posh Spice.  She looks positively divine, and I’m sure I would look fabulous in that dress! The jury is still out on her headband.  Normally, Victoria’s hair is in top form, I mean perfectly coiffed.  But in this pic?  A little reminiscent of Buckwheat say otay.  A nice dinner and a Broadway show sounds lovely.  Let’s just focus on his shoes….goodness me, that man cleans up nice.  *swoons*

courtesy of the Daily Mail

I am highly upset that my future ex-husband David Beckham is rumored to be playing for AC Milan in January.  It’s just for a few months so he can play for England team.  Victoria Beckham will be remain here in the US, but will travel back and forth to see him.  I’ve always wanted to visit Italy.  I really do sound like a stalker now.

courtesy of The Sun

I am seriously crushing on Russell Brand.  I think he is brilliant and hilarious. He hosted the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards this past Sunday and it was hysterical.  I loved his jokes about purity rings.  I nearly peed my pants when he talked about Palin’s future grandbaby as a “PR stunt.”  He called President Bush a retarded cowboy and I started to cry.  This man was so funny in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Whenever he is on the Tonight Show, he goes on rants about how Jay Leno wants to make him a little brother or sister with his mother.  Here are some linky links:

• The London Telegraph has this article on whether or not his appearance will boost his career.
• Entertainment Weekly asked readers to post comments on his performance.
• A little ditty on his next movie with Adam Sandler.
• Russell Brand’s MySpace page, and yes, I’m a friend.

Oh there is a God. David Beckham will be modeling Armani underwear in a campaign that will launch later on this year. The photos were taken last Friday and I am sure they will be worth the $40 million he is rumored to have been paid. I am counting the days…

I have to move back to Los Angeles because David Beckham, my second favorite football player, will be playing for the Galaxy team. That’s right, I said football, which is soccer for all of you Americans. I nearly shit two bricks and became a nun. They are paying him $250 million total for five years. So now I have to move back.