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• Did Jimmy Carter snub Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton?  He walked right up to President Bush Sr and Barbara Bush and then waltzed past Bill and Hill.  That was a burn.
• Oh Jesus, what the fuck were Aretha Franklin and Jill Biden wearing?  Who wears a big ass bow hat or fuck me boots to the presidential inauguration?  Apparently they do.
• Dick Cheney did not “injure” his back “moving boxes.”  That jackass hasn’t lifted anything besides his hand while being sworn in as VP…or that time he lifted a gun…at his friend who was wearing a bright orange vest…on a “hunting” trip…and shot him.
• Michelle Obama breathed new life into american couture.  Her outfit was like candy and everyone is going to eat it up…or make knock offs.
• There were no incidents that day.  That means no arrests, no pick pocketing, no crazy streaking incidents, just a peaceful day in DC.

This has to be the happiest day I have had in eight years.  It was worth standing in line to do the early vote.  It was worth being chosen to serve grand jury duty for 18 months.  I am so proud to be an American.  We really turned it out.  The voter turnout was huge and it’s because people woke up.  We needed a change and we got one.  Yes, it will be Obama in ’09.  It’s a celebration, bitches.

Ben and Jerry’s shops are giving away a free scoop of ice cream, Krispy Kreme shops are giving away a free doughnut and local shops Le Bon and Segafreddo are giving away a free glass of prosecco if you present your voters card or have on a “I voted today” sticker.  So celebrate your right to vote!

Yesterday, I scheduled an hour to vote.  I know, that sounds weird but I knew the line would be long.  No, it was unbelievably long.  After waiting a half hour, I knew I would be late for work, so I left.  But I asked one of the volunteers what is the best time to come in.  He said to come in before 9am or 10am and it would be a 15 minute wait.  I asked another person if I could go to any voting center.  She said no just go to the one closest to your house.  Since I have jury duty on Fridays, I decided I would go before jury duty and then catch the bus.  I got about 6 hours of sleep because I worked the late shift and I was getting up even earlier the next morning.  I get to the center at 8:15am.  I was the third person in line.  Fifteen minutes later, we still haven’t moved upstairs.  Fourty minutes later, I waited on another line upstairs,  which was outside the voting room.  They told us to turn off our cell phones, meanwhile the poll workers and volunteers were chatting and text messaging on their phones.  And there was some volunteer walking around to make sure our cell phones were off.  Ugh.  I needed to know what time it was because I didn’t want to be late for jury duty. They would lie, saying things like “Oh it’s not even 9am,” just so they could continue their phone call.  I was finished at 9:30am and then called the juror office to tell them I would be late.  The coordinator asked why and I explained to her what happened.  She said I could have gone to any early voting place as long as I had my ID and that the one downtown near the courthouse had no wait.  Unbelievable.  This is why people don’t vote.  I strongly believe that my fellow Americans are lazy and don’t have enough patience to stand in line for more than 15 minutes, even if food is involved.  I hope that I made the right decision to vote early, meaning the wait time to vote on Election Day will be longer.

Madonna reported to jury duty the day after her fabulous Oscar party. She was on time but was dismissed later on in the afternoon. Hmmm, she must be on to something. She partied until at least 4am and then showed up, I’m assuming, hung over and not looking like her usual gussied up self. I think I should apply this to my own jury duty dilemma. If I party until dawn, show up looking like a shlumpadinka and stinking like a bar, maybe I’ll be sent home.

I have been looking forward to Super Tuesday. I felt awful after Bush was elected, and even worse when he was re-elected.  I believe that this country needs a change…and national healthcare.  The newscasts avoid using the word “recession” but this has got to stop.  We are in a recession, no one wants to admit it.  And this will affect every market until it’s fixed. I don’t have the answers for our screwed up economy, let alone the faith in our country.   If I could pull a reverse Craig Ferguson, I would.  At least I would get some health insurance…and all the fish and chips I want.