Posted on Jul 8, 2009

Gary, Indiana not Louisiana Paris, France, New York or Rome…

I know that everyone is running around talking smack about Michael Jackson or crying like a baby. We were all taught to respect the dead and not say anything bad about them.  But I’m going to get it out of my system, some sort of purge, if you must label it:

MJ was brilliant. This man created words like shomon or PYT and used slang like tenderoni in songs before LOL or evoo. Don’t get me started about Jesus Juice….

Who else could have hits with Mick Jagger, Sheryl Crow, Slash and Paul McCartney? Anyone who worked with him was guaranteed a hit.  Hello, Sheryl Crow toured with him before Tuesday Night Music Club, before all the grammys, and those were her legs in the Dirty Diana video. He put Vincent Price on the song Thriller…and it sold…big time.  

Who else could rock one glove? Kanye West couldn’t.  Who else could be in a music video with a glittery sequined shirt, sequined pants and boots, and a Jheri curl in front of a strobe light and not be considered gay? Michael fucking Jackson did.   

Angelina Jolie had nothing on his charitable contributions. The man wrote We are the World and Heal the World and put his money where his mouth his. He had one fucking house, granted it was a big one, but he opened it up to kids. There was none of this running around buying a house in every fucking country. He stayed at hotels or friends’ houses and he donated so much cash, even now from his will. He only had 3 kids, not a litter. I don’t care if his kids aren’t his or whatever.  Those kids made their own beds and were respectful. He had kids of every color, every size, every sickness, over to his house for parties and movies.

Michael Jackson grew up fast.  He was 11 years old when he sang on the Ed Sullivan show. Before that, the Jackson Five was the opening band at dance halls and strip clubs. Yes, I said strip clubs, and he was singing songs about love, sex, emotions, and jealousy. Not to mention, he endured the beatings from his dad.  So I could see why he named his entire enclave Neverland. Chasing after that childhood innocence for all those years and being around children, sure he looked like a pedophile. But if I had a choice of letting my son spend time with Michael Jackson or let my daughter spend time with one of the Jonas Brothers, I would pick MJ.  Promise ring my ass.

He was, and always will be, the King of Pop.  This man united people from all countries way before Madonna did.  There was Michael mania, worse than the Beatles, even worse than the George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson. There was pandemonium wherever he went.  And it wasn’t like girls were chasing after him, it was kids,  and everyone of every age. He was respected, and he will be sorely missed. But for me, my heart will hold a place for him, the black MJ, the white MJ, the Wacko Jacko, all of him. And his music will always speak to me.

Posted on Oct 30, 2008

David Beckham is moving to Italy

courtesy of the Daily Mail

courtesy of the Daily Mail

I am highly upset that my future ex-husband David Beckham is rumored to be playing for AC Milan in January.  It’s just for a few months so he can play for England team.  Victoria Beckham will be remain here in the US, but will travel back and forth to see him.  I’ve always wanted to visit Italy.  I really do sound like a stalker now.

Posted on Dec 18, 2007

Serial Monogamy 101

courtesy of Time magazine

Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from Rick Solomon. Interesting. This is her third failed marriage. She is catching up to JLo. This makes me wonder about serial monogamists and if it’s worth it. Most of my exes and men I have dated jumped into a relationship right after they chucked me. I’m not exaggerating. That damn drummer (aka My Mr. Big) was married and had a kid a year after I stopped bludgeoning myself, err, I mean, I decided to no longer date this man who said “I have to go home” after I told him I loved him. We “dated” on and off for over 4 years. We were never in a relationship but I wasn’t allowed to see other people. He never really saw other people, he would just go out to dinner with other women and if he decided he wasn’t interested, then it wasn’t a dinner date. Yes, I was that stupid, naive and young. The frenchman had a girlfriend 2 months after he dumped me. I have always been single for long periods of time. Not weeks or months, I’m talking years. In fact, I never had a boyfriend until I was 24 years old. But I digress; I love when Paris Hilton says she wants to be single for a while and doesn’t have time for a relationship and then miraculously appears with some rich boy toy the next day. I mean, let’s face it, using work as an excuse not to have a relationship or to end a relationship is lame. Even the president of France has time for a new relationship, incidentally, 2 months after his divorce. Maybe I should commit too early and burn through men like Lindsay Lohan, but there’s that problem I have of actually meeting a guy that needs to be solved…

Posted on Nov 13, 2007

Beck-mmmm

courtesy of Daily Mail

Oh there is a God. David Beckham will be modeling Armani underwear in a campaign that will launch later on this year. The photos were taken last Friday and I am sure they will be worth the $40 million he is rumored to have been paid. I am counting the days…

Posted on Nov 12, 2007

Oh Ginger

Prince Harry, center, courtesy of the Daily Mail
Giggling gals and lustful ladies around the world are letting a universal sigh of relief. Why? Because Prince Harry has been chucked (that means dumped for all you Americans) by long-time girlfriend Chelsy Davy. The rumored cause of the break-up was his decision to go to the World Cup Rugby final instead of attending Chelsy’s 22nd birthday party. In Chelsy’s defense, she moved all the way from Zimbabwe to be close to him. In Harry’s defense, it was the rugby finals! What is sad is that ages ago, when I was younger, and not so wiser, I was clingy, dependent, and constantly trying to rush things to the next step. My efforts were fruitless because these guys were not interested in me. And if they were, it didn’t matter anyway because I was ruining the relationship. My point is, maybe Chelsy and Harry are being childish with each other. Do you know what I think? Besides the fact that I fancy ginger-haired young blokes? If it was me, I would have no problem watching rugby and drinking lots of beer with the man I love. We’d definitely score later…