Ghetto University 101

After staying in Sofa City at a bunch of friends’ apartments, I found a room for rent at $125/week. I thought I hit the jackpot, but what I found was actually a tad illegal and shady.  I went to a real estate manager’s office for short term rentals.  I filled out an application, and was shown this apartment. It was small but they would take my cats and it was a two minute walk to the subway station, not to mention the grocery store across the street. I gave my first week and last week’s rent to my roommate, who also managed the apartment, and picked up my cats from the kennel.  Fast forward to a few months later, to where I come home and my roomie’s friend who owns the dry cleaning store across the street is there. He tells me that my roomie is in Miami for a few weeks and he would collect the rent.  My roommate lived in Miami for about a year and has friends there, so I didn’t think anything of it.  The following day, I got up, did all my laundry, cleaned my room, cleaned the cat litter box and went out to dinner and a conference with a friend.  Later that evening, I come home to a messy apartment.  Apparently, a search warrant is a piece of paper that allows the police to ransack your apartment, throw your shit on the floor and search everything, including your underwear and your cat litter box. One of my cats, Diablo, who rarely socializes or meows, greeted me at the front door, crying like a crazy cat.  Great. I’m living my own version of Law & Order, except there is no hot detective to help me. I read the warrant and it looks as though they searched this apartment and another one for fraudulent papers, aka a fake passport or Social Security Card ring.  Now I’m pissed. I don’t feel safe and my cats feel violated. Who keeps fraudulent documents in a cat litter box? I cleaned my room, calmed the cats and went to bed.  A few days later, my roommate’s wife comes by the apartment looking for my weekly rent.  I explained to her what happened and that no one was here to collect the rent after the warrant incident. She told me I had to have last week’s rent and this week’s rent to her by tomorrow.  I said fine.  The next day, I told her to come by and pick it up before 230pm and she said okay.  At 2:10pm, she asked me to drop it off at the dry cleaner place across the street.  I did so, only because I know the owner and I gave it to him after txting her that I gave him the money.  The next morning, the super knocked on my door asking for rent. What? I told him that my roommate does that. A few hours later, the building manager comes by, saying that my roommate is two months behind in rent.  Of course, he has no business card, and no phone number for me to contact him, but I give him my roommate’s wife’s number.  Interesting. As soon as the manager left, I went across the street and asked Mr. Dry Cleaning if the wife picked up my rent money.  He said no, prompting me to tell him that the super and the building manager came by asking for rent. I called her, and she did not pick up. So I asked for my rent money, and he gave it to me. A few minutes later, she sent me a txt message saying that she was going to give the apartment back to the building manager in seven or eight days and that it was too much work for her.  I just said okay. She then txtd me saying her sister has a room in Manhattan for $150/wk if I wanted it. I declined. I’m not stupid. This morning, she came by asking why I took my rent money back. My other roommate popped in and said, quite frankly, “You told us last week that we have to be out of here by this week because you’re giving the apartment back in a few days, and after the search warrant incident, you still want us to pay? Hell no.” I stiffled my laugh. I told her that she still had my last week of rent from my deposit and that I put a deposit on a new apartment and gave money to the building manager.  I also said that she is two months behind in rent and I refuse to give any more money to anyone else until I am guaranteed a place to stay. She had nothing to say about it.  My other roommate let her have it, because the police dumped everything he owned on his bed and the floor.  Before she left, she said that she would be giving the keys to the super or the building manager on Friday.  Yesterday, the super told me there was a woman in the building renting a room for the same price, and it’s actually on the same floor.  Meanwhile, I posted ads for the mini fridge, the futon and other things that my roommate let me use.  And I’m taking the cable modem, the router, and the tv.  Class, what have we learned? If the apartment is cheap and too good to be true, it’s most likely illegal.  If you think you’re being screwed, try to stay one step ahead and sell their shit. Class dismissed!

All I Want for Christmas is….

My Christmas list goes something like this:

  • A modest, roach-free apartment on the Upper East Side, the Upper West Side, or eff it, Greenwich Village
  • My babies! I miss my cats. Since I’ve been living the hobo life, my boys have been living the luxury life at a kennel. They get treats and fresh water twice a day, and they get brushed. I don’t know if they’ll be happy once I get them back.
  • A pair of warm boots.  Damn this New York winter…and the rain…and the snow.
  • Some longjohns….seriously…I moved from Florida to New York, so yeah, I’m cold.
  • A white iPhone 4, please.  I know it’s a myth, like the unicorn, or the Jonas Brothers’ virginity.  A girl can dream, can’t she?
  • Gerard Butler…I know, I’ve mentioned this before but please, if there is a Santa Claus, I’ve been a good girl, and I deserve a bad boy.

I am spent

Still looking for a house. I am spent, I mean, this process, work and the second job, is killing me. Something has already given: my place is a mess. I have a choice of cleaning or sleeping, and I always choose sleep. Eventually, I do the dishes and I have to do laundry, it just takes forever. I don’t have a dishwasher and I have to hook my washing machine to the kitchen sink! I hang dry everything.  It’s a pain. So I am giving myself cut off date to find a house.  If I don’t find something, this gives me time to figure out what I want to do and if I want to go live somewhere else.

The house is a no-go

I know, I have been gone a long time.  And I didn’t get the house.  The owners didn’t want to do the work that the FHA inspector wanted done. So I am back to square one. I have been looking at houses every week, and no luck. And I can afford a big chunk of change for a house, so why is this so hard?  I have no idea. So I am giving it another month or so and then decide if I want to move out of state or not.  Anyway, something has come up and I just don’t know how to address it.  Feel free to email me if you have any thoughts on the matter. In other news, work is busy, and the part time job is bringing in the dough.

I found it!

I got the house!!! I am so excited!!! And I qualified for 2.25% down and 5.875% interest on a 30 year fixed rate loan.  I feel liberated, but now it’s cut the check time.  Oh yeah, and I have to pay for the inspections, the credit report, the appraisal fee, all that good stuff.  Yep, I will be cutting at least one check a week from now until closing, and then cut a big check then.  But it will be mine.  A glorious 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath house with stand up basement, hardwood floors, big paved backyard, 2 decorative fireplaces and built-ins everywhere.  And it’s about 4 blocks from where I am now.  Yay!!!!

House hunting again

Loobylu is moving to nice, big house.  Why can’t I?  Depressing.  I will look at a crap load of houses tomorrow.  I cannot wait!  I am looking at a HUD home, one piece of crap, and two others that are in my neighborhood.  All are way under my price range.  Wish me luck.

California, here I come

Long time no see. I work seven days a week and I am really focusing on buying a house.  The one that I wanted would be a money pit, so I am looking for something that doesn’t need so much work; less structural, more cosmetic.  But soon, I will be relaxing in beautiful Los Angeles. Oh yes, I am going by myself.  I don’t want to talk to anyone, meet anyone or see anyone.  I am going to the beach, I will do some shopping, and I will check out some good eats.  My co-workers were making fun of me because I am staying at some shee shee fru fru hotel.

Karma

Things are a little better now.  My happy hour thing was in effect. When I get the pics developed, I’ll post them.  And I have bumped into every guy that I have dated for the past two years in the span of two weeks.  No, that’s only four guys and yes, it’s true, I really don’t get any, as you can tell.  But it is good that I saw them, because now I know how much they suck and how much better off I am without them! I love ignoring The Egomaniac who just never called and then telling him that I just don’t like him.  When Mr. I Asked One of Your Friends On a Date and Lied to You About It tells you he is buying a house, that it is in a crack town part of the neighborhood and it’s all he can afford, things look brighter.  Suddenly, telling him that you found a fixer-upper for next to nothing is wonderful.  But then adding that it is two rowhomes together and that you plan on having a kitchen that Emeril has nothing on, is just fantastic.  It is a great feeling when The Mechanic admits that he screwed things up and he lost a good thing and he doesn’t know what to do.  But the best was seeing Mr. Selfish USA that ditched you getting dumped.  Yeah it was funny because it was 9:00am in the morning and she distinctly said that “It’s been over for weeks! Just leave me alone!”  Life is sweet!!!  Now if I could just stop bumping into my ex MFM (My Favorite Mistake or M****F***ing Mistake) and his new girlfriend, Stick Figure With No Soul, I would be a happier person.

Crack house for sale

It has been extremely busy this week at work.  I haven’t done any laundry, but I have done my taxes already. I know, you hate me.  And you know what makes it worse, I am getting a refund from the state also.  You really hate me now.  Check out the dream house HGTV is giving away.  It is in Talbot County.  There is a large drug epidemic there.  And it is not so convenient to Baltimore and Washington DC.  You will be in your car forever.

Soon to be an old lady

You noticed I was gone.  I know, it’s been a while.  I had to move, but I didn’t think moving would cause so many problems. First, my local phone company sucks.  They just suck. They delay the order and then they cancel it.  I was without internet access for days!  The bastards.  And now in my lovely old house, I have an extended family of snails.  Yes, you are not going crazy, I said snails.  Each night, a little bugger visits myself and the cats.  Very gross.  I am so far from being unpacked. I still have cups and miscellaneous stuff at my old house!  My cats freaked out about the spiral staircase.  They were both afraid to climb up the stairs.  Mufasa would meow and then go up one step and then meow again and go up another step.  It was funny.  So I will be unpacking and getting myself together before the big birthday, which is Sunday.  I know, I am not 30 yet, but this is the last year that I can say I am in my 20’s.  I am going to cry.