No. We’re not keeping a mattress on the floor. We’re poor, not crackheads.
– 2 Broke Girls
I’ve had my mattress on the floor for some time. I have yet to pick out a bed frame. Browsing in IKEA, West Elm, Pottery Barn and CB2 just made me more frustrated. So I decided to make my own bed frame. That’s right, this lady is going to build a bed frame out of pallets. I just hope I don’t fuck it up.
Last December, my baby boo, Diablo, passed away at the ripe old age of 17. It was sudden for sure because he was doing Cat Olympics the other morning. He has been with me in Baltimore, Los Angeles, Paris France, Miami Beach and NYC. He would call me mama, peep out of the window, and loved to eat insects like bees and flies. He was the runt and since his vocal chords were damaged, he couldn’t meow until he was about 6 yrs old. But he would serenade his water bowl every day after that. He and his brother are the loves of my life so it is hard to comprehend not waking up next to them. I know he is up there in heaven with his brother, chasing after invisible things, chewing on plastic bags, opening closed doors, and getting their tummies rubbed.
It’s been a very bad year. In January, I lost my baby, my 16 year old cat named Mufasa. He was diagnosed with kidney failure in September of last year. I changed his food, gave him meds and subcutaneous injections all while working 12-14 hour days as a restaurant manager. He died in my arms, and I haven’t been the same. His 16 year old brother, Diablo is fine, but he has never been alone, so he is needy. In February, I was let go because of the “drastic financial cutbacks.” And now it’s March. This time last year, I started dating my now ex-boyfriend. Fuck. What’s a girl to do? Well, I started doing the things I never had time to do. I am decorating my apartment. I am taking classes online…all of them: spanish, web design, app design and business management. I have been dreaming about running my own business for years, and it is about to come to fruition. So for now, I am trying to make 2013 my bitch.
I am totally single, which means I don’t have sex on a regular basis, or at all. So to expend all of that extra energy, I decided to start biking. I have not biked since 19– (trails off), so it was difficult for me. The first time I biked to work, it took me 45 minutes and I needed a cpr kit. It’s been just over five months now and I have shaved my time down to just 21 minutes. Last month, I sucked it up and biked to Manhattan, riding over both bridges. I have biked to IKEA and then to work on the same day. I thought that I would stop for winter because it is so damn cold, but I haven’t. Unless it’s too windy, or it is raining or snowing, I bike every day to work. I really enjoy the time to decompress from work, not to mention I am saving money. The best thing is, I can still eat whatever I want and my abs look fantastic. I bought my bike for $150, and I am thinking of really overhauling it with some new breaks and a good paint job. So yes, I would recommend biking to anyone. It really is the best substitute for sex…besides Mallomars…
I realized why I’ve been having such bad luck concerning my jobs lately. Mufasa has been peeing on the doormat and in feng shui, that is my career section. So karmically, my cat has been pissing on my career for the last few weeks.
Fresh Catnip: $5.99
Unscented Kitty Wipes: $7.49
Booda XLarge Clean Step Litter Box: $41.99
Arm&Hammer MultiCat Litter (31lbs): $9.99
Hartz Shed Mitt: $6.49
Nature’s Miracle Stain&Odor Remover: $7.49
Knowing that I have the happiest cats with clean paws who will never, EVER, pee outside the litterbox: priceless
After much deliberation, and a boatload of booze, I’ve decided to cancel my MSN Hotmail account. I’ve had Hotmail since it was owned by some dude from Apple and another dude from India. For you young whippersnappers, that translates to 1996. Damn, those were the days. The memories of my first porn spam, my first Viagra email, my first online order confirmation. But now it’s time to turn a new leaf. Since I have my own websites, I can have my own email address. I’m all about the Gmail, baby.
I forgot that I had an identi.ca account. For those of you who don’t know, it’s Canada’s version of Twitter. I went a little crazy in 2007…*sigh*
After all the celebrating the holidays, my liver filed for workmans comp.
I hustled for interviews almost every day, peddled my resume online, and made follow-up calls like a pro. All that hard work paid off, because I started working at a prestigious eatery a few days ago. I was so nervous! I haven’t cooked in a restaurant in years…ages even. My friends said it was like riding a bicycle and I felt like I was going to crash before I got to the end of the driveway. During my kitchen trial, I asked questions, I volunteered to fetch things, and I paid attention. And you know, it was like riding a bike. Most of it did come back to me and I am really proud of myself. One of my best friends has a mantra, which is “Believe and receive,” and I think it rubbed off on me. I just kept at it, and I am blessed with two jobs. Now if I could just find a cheap apartment and a good-looking guy to date me…