shenae.com

Ex-Norwegian, pic courtesy of www.exnorwegian.com

Go see Ex-Norwegian in Miami at Sweat Records (5505 NE 2nd Ave) on June 19th at 9:30pm-ish.  They are awesome. Me gusta. I should because I know them.  There will be another show in Miami Beach, FL at Fillmore Miami Beach on June 20, 2010. For more info, click here, people!!

After five years of bitching, suffering through horrible dates, and using those awful internet dating sites, I had a boyfriend.  It was nice to date someone, get to know someone, actually go out to dinner and a have a conversation with someone.  And then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was elated.  My friends freaked out, I couldn’t believe it, and we continued getting comfortable with each other.  I would see a couple and be thankful for being in a relationship. Morning sex turned into afternoon sex.  In fact, I replaced food with sex. Who does that? I did! We sent text messages or spoke to each other every day.  My apartment was a mess and my cats didn’t remember me.  And then I did something very bad: I cared about him too much. It took one conversation and we were done.  Now I’ve replaced sex with alcohol. My apartment is spotless. My cats are taking me for granted.  It’s been a few days and sometimes I regret what I said, maybe it was too soon, but I realize that the same outcome would happen whether it was 3 months, 6 months or a year in the future.  I just want to move to Spinsterland, start adopting cats and make my own mumus. I’m done. Over it. Seacrest out.

These days are gone
Loud enough to hold on
I think about the time we wasted
I think about the years to come
It’s getting late and I can’t call
It’s getting late to face it all
I think about the time we wasted
My loneliness has slowly grown
I told you not to cross the line
& leave me with your love for granted
The letters from your broken heart
I think I might have lost them somewhere

Even though we’ve said it all
I would never let us fall with you
Hang on to a little chance, you bet I’m in
If it is for better
I would never miss the call, it’s true
Hang on to a little chance, you bet I’m in

I was working two jobs since October 2008. I…was…exhausted. I would rather go home, enjoy a glass of wine, and sleep than go out with friends, or even a date.  I mean, I’m somewhat optimistic about dating. So beginning January 27, 2010, I went 2 months with one job.  I was freaking out.  I had the time but not enough money to do some of the things I wanted to do.  But then the gods smiled on me and granted me a job at a lovely clothing company, allowing me a major discount on most frocks you would find in magazines.  The only catch? It’s at night, setting up the displays. Ooooh.  I ended up working for 20 hours between both jobs…in one day.  I was beyond tired, I was hallucinating and having conversations with myself.  I was off for the next 3 days from both jobs, and after that time off, I was happy.  What is wrong with me?

Things are going well with the new apartment.  The few friends who have come by like the layout and the open feeling when there.  I just wish I had more furniture. I am focusing on decorating it, and putting something on the walls! I went from owning a 2BR/1.5BA with a basement and a deck in Baltimore to renting a studio apartment with an eat-in kitchen in Miami Beach.  I’ve given away or sold most of my furniture from previous residences so I’m starting from scratch.  My place looks like a serial killer lives there, with a mattress on the floor, a tv, a pitifully small futon, and a desk. There is no table to eat on and I have two forks, two spoons, two plates, two knives, etc.  If more than one person comes over, I have to eat off paper plates. I strongly believe the word minimalism really means having no furniture and barewalls because you’re broke.

Things you should know: I decided not to buy my apartment because I don’t qualify for a loan and I couldn’t afford it.  I was already annoyed that I didn’t have hot water for 13 days, so I just didn’t want to live here anymore.  I got a new apartment which is closer to both jobs.  Speaking of which, my hours were cut from Jobby Job #1, and even though I picked up more hours at Jobby Job #2, I’m still not making the money I used to make.

Things you shouldn’t know: I’ve been on some dates, been out with friends from work and other social activities.  I was hoping that my social life and dating life would improve, but it’s been up and down.  More on the dating aspect at another time.

So for now, I’m packing, I move next week.

I know that everyone is running around talking smack about Michael Jackson or crying like a baby. We were all taught to respect the dead and not say anything bad about them.  But I’m going to get it out of my system, some sort of purge, if you must label it:

MJ was brilliant. This man created words like shomon or PYT and used slang like tenderoni in songs before LOL or evoo. Don’t get me started about Jesus Juice….

Who else could have hits with Mick Jagger, Sheryl Crow, Slash and Paul McCartney? Anyone who worked with him was guaranteed a hit.  Hello, Sheryl Crow toured with him before Tuesday Night Music Club, before all the grammys, and those were her legs in the Dirty Diana video. He put Vincent Price on the song Thriller…and it sold…big time.  

Who else could rock one glove? Kanye West couldn’t.  Who else could be in a music video with a glittery sequined shirt, sequined pants and boots, and a Jheri curl in front of a strobe light and not be considered gay? Michael fucking Jackson did.   

Angelina Jolie had nothing on his charitable contributions. The man wrote We are the World and Heal the World and put his money where his mouth his. He had one fucking house, granted it was a big one, but he opened it up to kids. There was none of this running around buying a house in every fucking country. He stayed at hotels or friends’ houses and he donated so much cash, even now from his will. He only had 3 kids, not a litter. I don’t care if his kids aren’t his or whatever.  Those kids made their own beds and were respectful. He had kids of every color, every size, every sickness, over to his house for parties and movies.

Michael Jackson grew up fast.  He was 11 years old when he sang on the Ed Sullivan show. Before that, the Jackson Five was the opening band at dance halls and strip clubs. Yes, I said strip clubs, and he was singing songs about love, sex, emotions, and jealousy. Not to mention, he endured the beatings from his dad.  So I could see why he named his entire enclave Neverland. Chasing after that childhood innocence for all those years and being around children, sure he looked like a pedophile. But if I had a choice of letting my son spend time with Michael Jackson or let my daughter spend time with one of the Jonas Brothers, I would pick MJ.  Promise ring my ass.

He was, and always will be, the King of Pop.  This man united people from all countries way before Madonna did.  There was Michael mania, worse than the Beatles, even worse than the George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson. There was pandemonium wherever he went.  And it wasn’t like girls were chasing after him, it was kids,  and everyone of every age. He was respected, and he will be sorely missed. But for me, my heart will hold a place for him, the black MJ, the white MJ, the Wacko Jacko, all of him. And his music will always speak to me.

I have been on MySpace since 2004 and FaceBook since 2005.  And now I rule because I have been on Twitter since 2007.  Oh yeah, check yourself before you wreck yourself, I am on top of many a trend, before Oprah, before Ashton Kutcher, there was Achixanthem.  I have incorporated my Twitter feeds in the handy dandy side bar on this site.  I love Twitter! It’s so fast, so easy, so gratifying.  For those of you under a rock, here is some info on all that is Twitter.

Yes, I have my face mask, and I will chase all my shots of tequila with hand sanitizer.  Enjoy the Mexican holiday that was ruined by some horny farmer who pulled a dirty sanchez on a pig. Ole!