A frog hopped into the house yesterday. It took me 15 minutes to get it out, like it didn’t want to leave. And it wasn’t just any ordinary frog, this was some kind of albino looking grayish white frog with reddish brown eyes. What is significant about little Kermit’s visit is that frogs are a symbol of prosperity in feng shui and if one hops into your house, it means that money is going to be coming to you. Love that feng shui!
A few nights ago, I had a nightmare. I dreamed that one of my ex-boyfriends called me to say that he wanted to reconnect. He told me that his wife left him and that he has been thinking about me for some time. Interesting. I mean, I was ecstatic in the dream, but when I woke up, I was sweating and I almost screamed. I don’t want to be with him…ever again. I’m desperate, but not that desperate. Ick. To prevent my mind from conjuring up hideous ideas like that again, I’m going to the movies, hanging out with my friends and doing some major soul searching.
I got a new job, moved to a new apartment and my bank reimbursed me for the British Airways debacle. But the best thing is that I am a few weeks away from purchasing a new Mac. I am going to order a super duper MacBook Pro. Oh I can’t wait. No more hitting the “i” and “o” buttons with all my strength in order for them to work. Did I mention that I’m getting a Blackberry? Oops, forgot about that one. No more phantom calls and I will get my txt messages on time, not 2 or 3 days after. Life is sweet.
Madonna reported to jury duty the day after her fabulous Oscar party. She was on time but was dismissed later on in the afternoon. Hmmm, she must be on to something. She partied until at least 4am and then showed up, I’m assuming, hung over and not looking like her usual gussied up self. I think I should apply this to my own jury duty dilemma. If I party until dawn, show up looking like a shlumpadinka and stinking like a bar, maybe I’ll be sent home.
The Oscars were awesome last night. Jon Stewart was a wonderful host, especially when he gave the winner of Best Song extra time to make her speech. I love how the top awards went to foreigners and no Americans. There were some awards that I would like to personally give, you know, for fun, so here they are:
Best Baby Bump: Cate Blanchett. She looked like she was carrying JLo’s kids plus here own! She is not due for another few weeks but since this is her third kid, she ballooned up like Kirstie Alley. She was hot in the dress. Mad props to her.
Best Reason to Learn a Foreign Language: Javier Bardem. My goodness, is this man humble, talented and drop dead gorgeous. And I want to learn spanish.
Best Impersonation of a Bag Lady: Tilda Swinton. Come on, Tilda. Step your game up. I loved her in the movie Orlando, I haven’t seen Michael Clayton yet, but damn, it’s the Oscars. She has an amazing body yet she decides to steal a dress from some homeless person and pair it with nice jewelry. What gives?
Best Adaptation: Sarah Lawson. Yep, she turned George Clooney to mush, to the point that they go everywhere together, moved in together and attend awards ceremonies together. Women are pondering the idea of becoming a Las Vegas cocktail waitress to snag a Clooney. Come on, I’ve thought about it. Cocktail waitresses across the country are mesmerized by the fact that she adapted the supreme sample of all mankind into monogamy. You lucky bitch, you.
Best Oscar Snub: Whoopi Goldberg. She hosted the Oscars 4 times, is one of a select few who has won an Oscar, a Tony, a Grammy and an Emmy, yet she had one spot in the Oscars montage. That’s jacked up. She was a pioneer before Oprah, before Halle, before Denzel.
Best WTF Moment: tied between Mylie Cyrus and Gary Busey. Why the heck was Mylie Cyrus invited to the Oscars? For the ratings? Look, she’s a great gal and her tv show is great (yes I’ve seen it, not bad) but she has nothing to do with the Oscars. Gary Busey kissed Jennifer Garner (and it looked liked he was holding on to her too long) on the red carpet. He interrupted Ryan Seacrest’s interview with Garner and Laura Linney and kissed both of them. It was as creepy as my boy Bardem in No Country for Old Men. The look on Garner’s face was a mix of surprise and disgust. Classic!
This film was the kind of visual masterpiece that makes you wish your life looked this glossy. Keira Knightley and James McAvoy have such carnal magnetism that I’m blushing just thinking about it. McAvoy has got something, even with Anne Hathaway in Becoming Jane. By the way, their love scene was the hottest 12 minutes of film I have ever seen. I needed a cigarette after watching it and I don’t even smoke! The entire cast kept the story going, so I can see why it was nominated for Best Film instead of all the acting categories, except for Saoirse Ronan. She was excellent as the naive 13 year old sister to Knightley’s character, who grows into a sage woman, delightfully played by Vanessa Redgrave. I am totally going to get it on dvd.
Well I guess it’s no surprise that Amy Winehouse won several Grammys tonight. Her performance was okay, and I don’t know what she was doing with her hands, let alone her dancing. It looked like she had to go to the bathroom. Let me get this straight; she is blessed with a beautiful talent, works hard, gets a record deal, then goes on tour, drinks alot, smokes some stuff, releases another album, has a hit about not going to rehab, gets married, smokes some crack, actually goes to rehab and then wins several Grammys. Things that make you go “Hmmm…”
Wow. This film is a stunning account of moral extremes. Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin were amazing. Javier Bardem is wonderfully creepy, cold-hearted, and precise. For a while, it was almost like these three characters were symbolic of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, respectively. Jones’ role of the sheriff was restrained but so knowledgeable. Brolin was bold yet restrained, and smart but somewhat naive. And Bardem was just plain spooky. This man had killing down to a science. It was an excellent film, although the ending reminded me of the Sopranos finale. The movie deserved all its accolades.
I have been looking forward to Super Tuesday. I felt awful after Bush was elected, and even worse when he was re-elected. I believe that this country needs a change…and national healthcare. The newscasts avoid using the word “recession” but this has got to stop. We are in a recession, no one wants to admit it. And this will affect every market until it’s fixed. I don’t have the answers for our screwed up economy, let alone the faith in our country. If I could pull a reverse Craig Ferguson, I would. At least I would get some health insurance…and all the fish and chips I want.
Finally got to see Juno today. It was Tuesday so with my card, I got free popcorn. I used my free movie ticket too. I love Tuesdays. But I digress; the movie was spectacular. It was funny, quirky, touching and wonderfully written. I enjoyed every minute of it. Ellen Page totally deserves her Oscar nomination.
