I’ve been living like a broke college student…

No. We’re not keeping a mattress on the floor. We’re poor, not crackheads.

- 2 Broke Girls

I’ve had my mattress on the floor for some time.  I have yet to pick out a bed frame.  Browsing in IKEA, West Elm, Pottery Barn and CB2 just made me more frustrated.  So I decided to make my own bed frame.  That’s right, this lady is going to build a bed frame out of pallets.  I just hope I don’t fuck it up.

2014 can also suck it

Last December, my baby boo, Diablo, passed away at the ripe old age of 17. It was sudden for sure because he was doing Cat Olympics the other morning. He has been with me in Baltimore, Los Angeles, Paris France, Miami Beach and NYC. He would call me mama, peep out of the window, and loved to eat insects like bees and flies. He was the runt and since his vocal chords were damaged, he couldn’t meow until he was about 6 yrs old. But he would serenade his water bowl every day after that. He and his brother are the loves of my life so it is hard to comprehend not waking up next to them. I know he is up there in heaven with his brother, chasing after invisible things, chewing on plastic bags, opening closed doors, and getting their tummies rubbed.

2013 can suck it

It’s been a very bad year. In January, I lost my baby, my 16 year old cat named Mufasa. He was diagnosed with kidney failure in September of last year.  I changed his food, gave him meds and subcutaneous injections all while working 12-14 hour days as a restaurant manager.  He died in my arms, and I haven’t been the same. His 16 year old brother, Diablo is fine, but he has never been alone, so he is needy. In February, I was let go because of the “drastic financial cutbacks.”  And now it’s March. This time last year, I started dating my now ex-boyfriend. Fuck. What’s a girl to do? Well, I started doing the things I never had time to do.  I am decorating my apartment. I am taking classes online…all of them: spanish, web design, app design and business management. I have been dreaming about running my own business for years, and it is about to come to fruition.  So for now, I am trying to make 2013 my bitch.

Bike is german for….

I am totally single, which means I don’t have sex on a regular basis, or at all.  So to expend all of that extra energy, I decided to start biking. I have not biked since 19– (trails off), so it was difficult for me. The first time I biked to work, it took me 45 minutes and I needed a cpr kit. It’s been just over five months now and I have shaved my time down to just 21 minutes.  Last month, I sucked it up and biked to Manhattan, riding over both bridges.  I have biked to IKEA and then to work on the same day.  I thought that I would stop for winter because it is so damn cold, but I haven’t. Unless it’s too windy, or it is raining or snowing, I bike every day to work.  I really enjoy the time to decompress from work, not to mention I am saving money.  The best thing is, I can still eat whatever I want and my abs look fantastic.  I bought my bike for $150, and I am thinking of really overhauling it with some new breaks and a good paint job.  So yes, I would recommend biking to anyone. It really is the best substitute for sex…besides Mallomars…

Occupy 2012

I got carded on New Year’s Eve while buying a lotto ticket at a bodega. I’m thinking this is going to be a good year. I rarely make resolutions but I’m doing something different this year, so here they are:

  1. Meatless Mondays – Yep, I’m going all pescatarian maybe vegetarian for one day a week. I need to step my game up when it comes to nutrition. For those of you who don’t know me, I would rather have a steak and mashed potatoes than a slice of the best chocolate cake on earth. I ate no meat or poultry today so I think I can make it.
  2. More dinner, less take out – I live in New York fucking City, home to a shitload of fantastic Michelin-starred restaurants and I should take advantage of it. I will take advantage of it.
  3. Update ALL my blogs – I’m not going to lie, I own a plethora of websites. They all need to be revamped, especially this one.
  4. More maintenance, less laziness – I was never one of those girls who gushed over makeup or shoes. As I got older, I started paying more attention to my clothes, skin and hair. When I do my hair and makeup, and I dress nice, men do notice me…and that leads to…
  5. I want a boyfriend, dammit. – I have been single for a looooong time. Yes, it’s been two years months since my last relationship, but before that it was five years two years and before that it was seven years five years, so that means I’ve been single for 14 too many years. It’s been long overdue. I’m a nice person with the body of a 24 year old. It shouldn’t be this hard! I’m throwing caution to the wind by giving online dating one last chance. I know, I know, I hate dating websites but I have got to do this by any means necessary.

My horoscope for today

Although you may feel as if you’ve worked yourself into a corner, you now have a window of opportunity to turn things around. However, it could take more time than you realize, so don’t frustrate yourself by trying to do everything all at once. A positive attitude helps, but showing up over-eager could put others off because they know that your show of confidence is false. Even if you’re facing real deadlines, remember that acting before it’s time won’t help you or anyone else.

I applied for a new apartment and got denied. They are mailing me my deposit so I have to wait for it in order to put down a deposit for any other place. I have to tell my landlord that I will be here for another 2 weeks.  I don’t want to live with Pigpen anymore. I’m really tired of the hour and a half commute to work even though I live and work and in Brooklyn.  And Mercury is in retrograde, so nothing is getting done.

One Year and Counting…

I moved back to New York on July 29th last year.  There have been plenty of ups and downs, too many jobs,  more drama and not enough sex.  All I can say is that I am sure I have more social, cultural and romantic opportunities here than I did in Miami Beach. In fact, concerning the dating world, I’ve had more action in the year that I have been here than the five years I lived in Florida!  So now I’m renting a room with my friend from Miami and in a few months, we’re getting our own apartment.  After going back and forth between working in a restaurant kitchen and working as a private chef, I’ve decided that neither of those two options are the right fit for me. I have two interviews scheduled this week and I worked as an extra for a commercial.  I don’t feel stifled anymore. I feel like I can do whatever I want, whenever I want with whoever I want.  Faith…it’s a good thing.

Ghetto University 101

After staying in Sofa City at a bunch of friends’ apartments, I found a room for rent at $125/week. I thought I hit the jackpot, but what I found was actually a tad illegal and shady.  I went to a real estate manager’s office for short term rentals.  I filled out an application, and was shown this apartment. It was small but they would take my cats and it was a two minute walk to the subway station, not to mention the grocery store across the street. I gave my first week and last week’s rent to my roommate, who also managed the apartment, and picked up my cats from the kennel.  Fast forward to a few months later, to where I come home and my roomie’s friend who owns the dry cleaning store across the street is there. He tells me that my roomie is in Miami for a few weeks and he would collect the rent.  My roommate lived in Miami for about a year and has friends there, so I didn’t think anything of it.  The following day, I got up, did all my laundry, cleaned my room, cleaned the cat litter box and went out to dinner and a conference with a friend.  Later that evening, I come home to a messy apartment.  Apparently, a search warrant is a piece of paper that allows the police to ransack your apartment, throw your shit on the floor and search everything, including your underwear and your cat litter box. One of my cats, Diablo, who rarely socializes or meows, greeted me at the front door, crying like a crazy cat.  Great. I’m living my own version of Law & Order, except there is no hot detective to help me. I read the warrant and it looks as though they searched this apartment and another one for fraudulent papers, aka a fake passport or Social Security Card ring.  Now I’m pissed. I don’t feel safe and my cats feel violated. Who keeps fraudulent documents in a cat litter box? I cleaned my room, calmed the cats and went to bed.  A few days later, my roommate’s wife comes by the apartment looking for my weekly rent.  I explained to her what happened and that no one was here to collect the rent after the warrant incident. She told me I had to have last week’s rent and this week’s rent to her by tomorrow.  I said fine.  The next day, I told her to come by and pick it up before 230pm and she said okay.  At 2:10pm, she asked me to drop it off at the dry cleaner place across the street.  I did so, only because I know the owner and I gave it to him after txting her that I gave him the money.  The next morning, the super knocked on my door asking for rent. What? I told him that my roommate does that. A few hours later, the building manager comes by, saying that my roommate is two months behind in rent.  Of course, he has no business card, and no phone number for me to contact him, but I give him my roommate’s wife’s number.  Interesting. As soon as the manager left, I went across the street and asked Mr. Dry Cleaning if the wife picked up my rent money.  He said no, prompting me to tell him that the super and the building manager came by asking for rent. I called her, and she did not pick up. So I asked for my rent money, and he gave it to me. A few minutes later, she sent me a txt message saying that she was going to give the apartment back to the building manager in seven or eight days and that it was too much work for her.  I just said okay. She then txtd me saying her sister has a room in Manhattan for $150/wk if I wanted it. I declined. I’m not stupid. This morning, she came by asking why I took my rent money back. My other roommate popped in and said, quite frankly, “You told us last week that we have to be out of here by this week because you’re giving the apartment back in a few days, and after the search warrant incident, you still want us to pay? Hell no.” I stiffled my laugh. I told her that she still had my last week of rent from my deposit and that I put a deposit on a new apartment and gave money to the building manager.  I also said that she is two months behind in rent and I refuse to give any more money to anyone else until I am guaranteed a place to stay. She had nothing to say about it.  My other roommate let her have it, because the police dumped everything he owned on his bed and the floor.  Before she left, she said that she would be giving the keys to the super or the building manager on Friday.  Yesterday, the super told me there was a woman in the building renting a room for the same price, and it’s actually on the same floor.  Meanwhile, I posted ads for the mini fridge, the futon and other things that my roommate let me use.  And I’m taking the cable modem, the router, and the tv.  Class, what have we learned? If the apartment is cheap and too good to be true, it’s most likely illegal.  If you think you’re being screwed, try to stay one step ahead and sell their shit. Class dismissed!

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